Mimi ni rafiki yako milele

One of the greatest joys that I had in Kenya, was adding to what little Swahili I already knew. As an American, most of our Swahili knowledge comes from a movie called “The Lion King” by Disney. If we’ve been to Animal Kingdom, we know a couple more words, but beyond “Hakuna Matata” “Simba” and “Jambo!” Most Americans don’t know a lick of Swahili…I was different, I knew the greeting “Habri za Asabuhi”…good morning! A short greeting that I had learned from my friend Marilyn. I did know that Jambo meant hello, but only to tourists.  

It was pretty funny to be greeted as Americans in Kenya. Many people would shake our hands and say “Hakuna Matata!” Then smile and say “Kenya means No worries!” Because as Americans that is the little bit of Swahili we know and we probably don’t even realize that those words and phrases actually mean what we have been taught! 

So the night that we left Kenya, we all learned to say Mimi ni rafiki yako milele (I am your friend forever.) 

I am not a great song writer, but I did decide to write this into a song. 

Mimi ni rafiki yako milele. 

Mimi ni rafiki yako milele.

It means I’m your friend forever until the end.

It don’t matter if I never see you, 

Or speak with you again. I will 

Love you forever, forever, my friend. 

So mimi ni rafiki yako milele. 

Mimi, mimi ni rafiki yako milele. 

It means I’m your friend forever, until the end. 

I may never be a part of your life again, 

And I may spend time away…

But I know, if God is our Lord, we’ll be 

Together again. 

So Mimi, mimi ni rafiki yako milele. 

Mimi ni rafiki yako milele. 

It’s means that I am your friend, 

your friend forever. 

Mimi ni rafiki yako milele. 

Reflection time in Kenya (Friday, July 19th)

Since coming home from Kenya, I have been a bit depressed. Not because of what I left behind in Kenya, but because of some of the realizations I had while there.

Being a short term missionary was fun; I was able to go and be with Christians, but it also left me empty, because as a Christian, we are called to live out our faith in our communities. The pastors in the slums of Kenya are truly living out their faith in their communities; they are out on the streets visiting homes, working in the school, doing what needs to be done so that their faith community members become a light to those who think that life is hopeless because of their current station. 

However, I realized while in Kenya, that I am not able to live out my faith like my brothers and sisters in other countries or even in my community because of my past. Let's face it, people all have a history before they encountered Christ and some make choices that come with consequences once they are Christians. Making a mistake is held against people in today's society; especially if that person is wanting to work ministering the gospel.

I am the first to admit that I haven't always been a shining light for God; I've made mistakes and I've paid for them. Often times longer than I should. That's why I am usually to alone, I don't have a lot of friends, I don't go out, and I can sit in my house binge watching episodes of Outlander and Orange is the New Black or whatever show I choose to indulge in. 

Over the week in Kenya, I spent one day in reflection of my calling. I can tell you that I don't have a clear calling--I never have. I don't like church politics, but unfortunately in any church that is a necessary thing. I don't enjoy being with people 24/7; I am an ambivert, geared more towards the introverted. I am assertive--which to some is a bad thing--to me, not so much. But are these qualities that should be in a pastor's life? 

Seriously all I want to do is preach Jesus! I don't care about reformation in the church as much as I care about revival, I care about souls who need Jesus! Maybe I am wrong, maybe I should care about other people's sins, but I don't. I have enough of my own issues to work through to care about other people's sins. 

That brings me to Phillipians 2:12-13 Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

But what does this verse really mean? I know it doesn't have to do with me ignoring other's sins. Work out translates a present middle imperative of katergazomai and indicates a command that has a continuing emphasis. The idea is, “Keep on working out to completion, to ultimate fulfillment.” Heauton, here rendered your, actually has the more emphatic meaning of “your own.” The command is for believers to make a continuing, sustained effort to work out to ultimate completion their salvation, which has been graciously granted to them by God through their faith in Jesus Christ.

The principle of working out salvation has two aspects. The first pertains to personal conduct, to faithful, obedient daily living. Such obedience obviously involves active commitment and personal effort, for which Scripture is replete with injunctions, both negative and positive. Sin in every form is to be renounced and put off and replaced by righteous thinking. Believers are to cleanse themselves “from all defilement of flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God” (2 Cor. 7:1), setting their minds “on the things above, not on the things that are on earth,” because they have died to sin and their lives are now “hidden with Christ in God” (Col. 3:2–3). Just as they once “presented [their] members as slaves to impurity and to lawlessness, resulting in further lawlessness,” they should “now present [their] members as slaves to righteousness, resulting in sanctification” (Rom. 6:19), walking “in a manner worthy of the calling with which [they] have been called” (Eph. 4:1).

The second aspect of working out one’s salvation is perseverance, of faithful obedience to the end. Salvation has three time dimensions: past, present, and future. The past dimension is that of justification, when believers placed their faith in Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord and were redeemed. The present dimension is sanctification, the time between a believer’s justification and his death or the Rapture. The future aspect is glorification, when salvation is completed and believers receive their glorified bodies. Believers therefore have been saved, are being saved, and will be saved. They are to pursue sanctification in this life to the time of glorification. In that glorious moment believers will see the Lord “face to face” and come to know fully even as they are fully known (1 Cor. 13:12). They “will be like Him, because [they] will see Him just as He is” (1 John 3:2). It was for that glorious moment that Paul so deeply longed. Looking forward to that time he exclaimed:  More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 3:8–14)Because the fulfillment of that hope was a divinely decreed certainty, Paul could say with complete confidence that “salvation is nearer to us than when we believed” (Rom. 13:11). Although it is not yet completed, the testimony of Scripture is that every believer’s salvation is utterly secure.

Then I start to think about the fear and trembling part, and what all this truly means...Although God is loving, merciful, and forgiving, He nevertheless holds believers accountable for disobedience. Like John, Paul understood well that “if we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:8–9).

But over all I think that my time in Kenya taught me that working out my own salvation is that salvation isn't done by me; I looked to John Calvin (I know, a Methodist that reads Calvin, perish the thought!) To work out one's own salvation “is the true engine for bringing down all haughtiness—this the sword for putting an end to all pride, when we are taught that we are utterly nothing, and can do nothing, except through the grace of God alone. I mean supernatural grace, which comes forth from the spirit of regeneration.” To know this is not to take anything from us, except the temptation to think we have contributed to our salvation and to boast about it.

So while my calling isn't clear and I am at the point that I don't think it's pastoral ministry (and that is hard for me to admit), I am at a place of "Okay God, I will stand still until you say move." And as a Christian, that's not a comfortable place, it's uncomfortable...but that is where God has me.

We came as vistors...

Italics are from my journal...

1 Chronicles 16:24 Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous works among all the peoples! (ESV)

This was the verse that I first read when I found out that I was going to Kenya in July 2019. I have been home since Wednesday afternoon, attempting to process my trip to Kenya. I have read over and over my travel journal and thought deeply about what I experienced so that I can explain it to you all. On July 14, I left North Carolina for 10 days to visit fellow Christians in Nairobi, Kenya. During the flight to Kenya, I was sick with stomach issues and no matter what I took my stomach stayed messed up, and I knew flying was not going to be the best option—since I hate public bathrooms. Nonetheless, I put on my favorite bracelet, one that reads It is well with my soul, climbed aboard an Airbus 330 and flew to London. Still sick, I decided to board a 747 and fly to Nairobi, Kenya, because as Paul told Timothy, God doesn’t give us a spirit of fear…even if that fear is just being sick.

The first thing I wrote in my journal on July 16 was Today is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it. We were picked up around 9:30a.m. the first morning and went directly to the New Hope Education Centre. We were happy to be at the school, to meet the children, even though the school itself was having a hard day with the loss of one of their students. My desire in Huruma was to love on the children; and I wanted them to know that I was more than just a mazunga (white person), I wanted them to know that I did love them. While the children entertained us with dances and poetry, we were fed lunch, consisting of popcorn and biscuits (cookies), hot Kenyan tea or water. 

Outside New Hope Education Centre, Huruma

July 17th was our pastor’s meeting. Pastors are somewhat under-trained in Kenya. Not because they don’t have good schools, but because they are truly in the midst of ministering and pastoring their flocks. The Kenya-Ethiopia Annual Conference believes that the church needs leaders rooted in Christ, who have a vision for changing the world. Matter of fact, we were told numerous times that we need to embrace young people with fearless hearts, vibrant ideas and a passion for ministry. The young people’s talents shall be nurtured to shape the church’s path into the future. It shall also strengthen lay members, who are ministering at every level of the church.

On Thursday, we took half a morning to visit some of the more touristy sites in Kenya. We went to the Kipande House, the first building in Nairobi, built in 1913. Then we visited the grave of the first president of Kenya, Jomo Kenyatta. Then our hosts took us to the site of the August 7, 1998 US Embassy bombing. For me that was unnerving, just knowing that 1) a bomb had went off in that spot and 2) people had died senselessly because of terrorism. Later that afternoon, we visited the school and with families in their homes. 

Friday, jet lag and sickness had caught up with me. I stayed behind at the hotel, and rested for most of the day. When I wasn’t sleeping, I was sitting in a chair speaking with people who came by to talk and praying with them. I like to say that while my day of ministering in Huruma was lost, my day of ministry in Kenya was not. Praying with people sends a powerful message to their souls, it let’s them know how much you actually care for them. 

Saturday was a day at the market. We purchased gifts and souvenirs. This is the place that I felt most sad—because at the market, people were trying to sell to me as a white person. My friends finally had to tell the sellers, “She’s a missionary…a volunteer. Sell to her like you would me!” It was truly based on color, and not as we would here…based on the human aspect. After the market, we had a community day/meal at the church. We ministered to the people of Huruma, Christians, non-believers and muslims alike. Then we went to the Pastor’s home for dinner and fellowship.

Sunday was our day of worship. I gave a devotion and a word of encouragement to the community in

Huruma. Then we ate lunch, came back to the hotel and rested.

Monday was a touring day. The first part of the day was spent meeting with various people and then the afternoon we spent on a Safari. Yes, I fulfilled a lifetime dream of going on Safari. 

Our Team: Front Row: Cliff, Grace
Back Row, from Left: Rachel, Matt, Davies, Carly and Moses

Tuesday, we met with the District Superintendent, Wilton Odongo, and spoke about the future of the church in Kenya. Then we had a late lunch at his home, followed by visiting a school where we spoke with the students and they danced for us. Finally it was time to fly home, our friends from Huruma came out with us to the airport and they bid us good-bye. 

While this is very typical of a mission trip agenda, I want to say that I learned a lot about missions and myself during this trip. 

1. I don’t travel well with others. 
2. I am assertive. 
3. There is a lot of stress that went into the planning of the trip, and while I put myself under the stress willingly, I needed it to be acknowledged by the entire team, not just one or two members. 
4. I don’t do well when I don’t have a clear assignment.
5. I am not all that helpful. With the exception of trained experts who have resources to meet pressing needs that a community cannot meet for themselves (doctors in communities without healthcare are a prime example of this), the work I did on a short-term mission trip is rarely as helpful as I think it should be. Most participating in mission trip projects are not actually the best equipped people for the job. I don’t say this as a put-down, but it’s important to realize for three reasons. One, when we’re doing work “for” someone that they can do for themselves, we’re disempowering that person. Two, we’re often only there for a week, so our ability to make a lasting impact is severely limited. Three, when we travel to another country, the true experts are the local people who have grown up in that community. They know what’s effective and how things work in their culture. They are the ones who need to have “buy in” because they’ll be present for the long-haul to follow up and make the project sustainable.
6. I wrote in my journal “I have loved my time in Kenya, even in the difficult times.” The hardest part of the trip was realizing that “While I love Kenya and her people, I am not called here.” And finally coming to the realization that my prayer became “God, Thank you for letting me come to Kenya and letting me meet people that are in love with you. I don’t feel called here and that is okay. Where am I called? Do I need to stand still a while longer? If so, that is okay also. I’ll stand still and wait on you.” It has taken a lot for me to realize that I am not saying I will never go back to Kenya—just that I am not called to Kenya in full-time ministry—and it took a lot for me to be okay with admitting that in my blog. 

There are other things I learned as well about myself; but I also want to talk about short term missions. Some of us don’t have a choice about being short term missionaries, we’re not called to live a life of poverty or live a life where we don’t have running water, or a bathroom, yet we want to help people who are living in this conditions. Being in the Huruma Slum, which is a part of the Mathare Slum in Nairobi taught me a few things about short term missions. 

1. The people living in the slums don’t need a hero. They don’t need someone to come in and try to save them. 
2. No matter how much or how little you have, you should be giving out of the abundance of your heart. 
3. Poverty looks different than what we expect. If at the end of your trip you say, “I am so thankful for what I have, because they have so little.” You have missed the whole point. You’re poor, too. But maybe you’re hiding behind all your stuff. There is material poverty, physical poverty, spiritual poverty and systemic poverty. We all have to acknowledge our own brokenness and deep need for God before we can expect to serve others.
4. Learning takes place in the context of reciprocal relationships. Be willing to share about your family, your pain and your needs. Sometimes people in developing countries think everyone in the U.S. is rich, white and happy. We know this is not true, and we have the chance to share honestly and vulnerably. Prioritize building relationships over completing projects. You are an ambassador from your country. Thanks to globalization, YouTube and Facebook, most developing countries will have certain ideas about the U.S. before you arrive. Be willing to ask questions and share about yourself and American culture, as well. Along the same lines, before you take a picture, ask yourself, “Would I mind if a foreigner took a picture of my daughter/son/sister/brother in this situation?” If the answer is yes, then don’t take it. Come back with stories and names of people, not just an entire album of “cute” nameless kids. 
5. The experience of a short term mission trip isn’t all that warm and fuzzy stuff. It is very eye-opening. And it definitely took me out of my comfort zone to walk into a community of make-shift shacks, no plumbing or sewer system, with kids wanting to hold my hand.

Finally I thought about all the things we did right as a team and things we could do better as a mission team. 

What we did right: 

1. We truly interacted with the locals in Huruma, from meeting with them in their homes to eating the same foods they eat. 
2. We did 1 session of high/low of the day.
3. We had quiet time for bible study and prayer
4. We all took 1.5 days off
5. We didn’t see ourselves as heroes
6. We prayed once or twice as a team. 

What we could do better: 

1. Require daily quiet time for prayer and Bible study—no cell phones, etc.
2. Debrief daily—culture shock is real and no matter how much research you do, things are usually different than what you imagine.
3. Pray daily as a team
4. Host a team bible study
5. Touch base daily to ensure there are no prayer needs from the team
6. Take care of each member of the team mentally, physically and most importantly, spiritually.
7. Take 2 days off for each member of a team for rest and reflection. Depending on the size of the team, this can be broken up—but one day needs to be the team together. 

Over all I can give this entire trip a 7 out of 10; there is always room for improvement so I don’t think I can ever give a trip a 10 out of 10. However, if I am to sum up the entire trip, I’d do so by saying “We came as visitors…we left as family.”