A Time to...

I think I finally figured out why the rich man couldn't follow Jesus when He asked him to "sale all you have and follow me!" The rich man owned a corgi! Okay, maybe not, but the rich man had something that he didn't want to sale in order to follow Jesus--maybe it was monetary wealth--it was definitely worldly whatever it was!

This week, I rehomed my beloved corgi so that I she would have a family that could better care for her---since I was working 12 hour shifts. But not only was it for work, but my life, has become increasingly busy with my work in ministry. When I realized that on Tuesday, that I was going to have to rehome my corgi, I immediately started thinking of the rich man and the reasons why he chose to not follow Jesus. I imagine that he felt like it would have been the worst day of his life if he had given up his worldly possessions. I almost want to bet someone he owned a corgi and that is why he couldn't follow Jesus. Actually I know the reason is that he (the richman) enjoyed his material comforts. So this week has been tough...not only because I gave away one of my most prized and precious possessions, but because I learned that even in the worst times...God is testing us and we will over come. Monday was tough, Tuesday was tough, by Wednesday I was ready to just crawl under my desk and cry. Yet through it all I know that God was right there, writing my story.

Monday, I found out that I didn't get my scholarship to Duke Divinity School and that if I did by chance actually get into school, I would have to defer starting for a year. On, Tuesday, I rehomed my best friend Lizzie, the corgi that I had waited over 30 years to adopt. I never knew I could be so hurt or depressed, but I was. Then on Wednesday I go to work and my friends all inquired as to the why behind my rehoming Lizzie and they all understood it was because of my long work hours and that Lizzie was depressed.


Then just after 8:30 am my co-worker looked at me and said "Billy Graham has died." Seriously? I thought! Later in the day, a friend would tell me "Rachel, pray for my friend, her son just passed away from the injuries he sustained in the shooting in Florida." Immediately, I went numb! It wasn't until I was walking through the office, that someone said "Rachel, you look like a zombie." Truthfully I felt like one too!

I felt like I had completely failed, didn't get my scholarship, had to rehome Lizzie, a hero of faith had passed away, a kid that my friend knew had died from injuries he had sustained during a shooting. My heart honestly just broke inside me. I didn't know that my "worst day" ever would empty me so completely of feelings.

Two co-workers at different times told me "Rachel, God will not give you more than you can handle, He will not ask of you more than you can handle." My response was "I get it, but the pain sucks." and it still does.

However, through it all God has kept bringing me back to Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

1 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: 

2 a time to be born, and a time to die; 

a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; 

3 a time to kill, and a time to heal; 

a time to break down, and a time to build up; 

4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh; 

a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 

5 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; 

a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 

6 a time to seek, and a time to lose; 

a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 

7 a time to tear, and a time to sew; 

a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 

8 a time to love, and a time to hate; 

a time for war, and a time for peace.

It is in these moments--these seasons of life that we need God. We need Him desperately. Yes, the pain is here, and it is temporary--but it is still pain. But through it all God is orchestrating an amazing story and I can't wait to see where He takes me over the next few months as I continue to give up self to follow Him.