Let Go of Bitterness

Hold On Grasshopper!

Last year, I took a weekend to visit a friend in Princeton, NC. My visit wasn’t meant to be anything special, just a friend going to visit another, and to share in the blessings of God’s love. On my way to Princeton, I noticed a grasshopper holding onto my window; he had been there since I left my house and as I sped down I-40 near Greensboro, he was still clinging to my window. I got to Mebane, and he’s still there, so I get off the interstate and decide that this little fella has ridden far enough. He immediately jumps off the window when I stop—I guess he had enough too! 

God is always calling us to let go of something. Maybe you’ve got anger in your life and you need to let go; maybe it’s grief that still sits in your heart and you don’t know how to let that go, but you know you need to. Maybe it’s resentment, wrath or even some junk in the house of your heart. 

For me, what God is expecting me to throw away is resentment and anger. Anger? I know it surprised me too. Yesterday I posted on FB that it was the best feeling in the world to be able to say “I hold no animosity towards someone who has hurt me.” When in truth, I ran into that person later in the day and every bit of anger came out and I showed them they were “number 1” in my book. I realized that while I may not wish ill towards that person, I do still hold on to the hurt and anger…and I do indeed hold animosity towards the person. 

I hadn’t thought of that little grasshopper until this week. He held on to my car for dear life—which in his case really was life or death. However, is it life or death if we hold on to animosity towards people? Indeed it is. 

Lisa Albinus, writing about a bee, says: 

We have all been hurt by those we chose to trust and love, disappointed by circumstances and choices, hurt, offended, bruised, and crushed by those around us. We all wear scars.  We can choose to hold on to these offenses, storing them in a treasure chest that we open often, taking these offenses and relishing in the memory of the wrongs committed. We polish the memories by playing it over, and over, and over again. We choose to live in yesterday with the offense, rather than embracing a new location, a new day, a new destination.

My little grasshopper missed his own adventures to accompany me, because he was clinging to my car. How often do we miss adventures that God has for us because we are clinging to the hurts of our past? 

Albinus goes on to say: 

Ephesians tells us to put all bitterness behind us. We are to clothe ourselves in kindness and love. We are told to forgive. You may be wondering how I ever got out of my car. I began to open the window. I shifted the foundation of what the bee was standing on and it let go.  We all may need to shift our foundation from offense to letting go. How can we do that? What if we were to pray for those that hurt us? Praying for others softens our hearts and shifts the foundation we are standing on to Holy Ground.

So this week, I have been thinking How can I let go, when I have a promise of “maybe someday, but not right now” and how can I expect this person to forgive me when we 1) can’t speak to each other and 2) if I keep showing my anger? For me the answer has been in a prayer 

God, in your mercy, hear me and answer me. You know I am troubled by thoughts and feelings of anger, resentment and bitterness. You also know why. And you know how deep the hurt goes and how long I have lived with it. But I don’t want to live with it any longer. I don’t want to be an angry, resentful and bitter person. With your help, I release my anger into your hands. I surrender my resentment. I let go of my bitterness. Help me to keep letting God and release these toxic emotions as often as they try to return. Lord, I also release ________ into your care. You know all my love and concern for him/her. I know that You share that love and concern, so I release him/her into Your hands. Help me to find healthy and helpful was to love and care and pray for him/her, even as I learn to trust You to see I cannot see and do what I cannot do. Amen