Single, Lonely but why?

Tonight I decided I wanted to write a blog post in response to the fact that I keep seeing so many young women talking about being alone, being single, being in a season of waiting and praying for the love of their lives. I have never once seen one of these women say "I am praying that God's will is completed in me." or "I am praying that as I pursue holy singleness, that God's spirit will fill that hole in my heart."

It wasn't so long ago that I became the last single lady in my single ladies bible study. Matter of fact, it's been only weeks. Each one of my friends, Kayley, Ellie, Elizabeth, Jessica, Tosha, and Marilyn all married the loves of their life. I am friends with each one still (except one) and their husbands. I am treated as an equal among my friends; and I don't feel as if I am any less because I am still single.

However, I do believe that the church has taught young women that they must be in a relationship to be complete. There is nothing true about that. Matter of fact, the Bible teaches completely different. 1 Corinthians 7:32-35. I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. An the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

Just prior to this Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 7:8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am.

Matter of fact, I like how Joy Beth Smith said it "Singleness is not simply a season to be weathered, a waiting room, or a holding cell. It's not temporal by design, and it doesn't exist only to usher you into something great. Singleness is a valid life stage." She goes on to say in her book "Party of One" "We put too much aside if we wait for marriage."

I think one question that comes to mind for singles is how do I honor and serve a God that has the power to change my circumstances but chooses not to, causing me immense loneliness and pain? I'll be quite honest and tell you I don't have the answer; for me it was praying that I could understand why at 40 I was still single, when all of my friends were getting married. It is okay to be single; maybe you aren't in a season of waiting, maybe you are in a season of service to God. Instead of praying that God releases your future husband, pray that God shows you exactly why you are still single. I know for a fact that if I was married, I wouldn't be where I am in ministry. I wouldn't have been able to grab life, yes, it has been lonely, it's been hard, but I wouldn't have been able to go to Ireland, the Bahamas, Kenya, because my life would have to be dedicated to my husband. I wouldn't have been able to serve God without distractions.

So tonight, I want to encourage all the single ladies who are aching for love to remember you are loved; you are priceless and above all, this is a valid life stage...what are you putting aside while begging God for something He may have already said no to?