When Christians hurt each other...

I haven't written in a while. The reason being that I have been spending a lot of time on a program called Paltalk. Tonight I was banned from a chatroom for being "toxic." And I admit, I got pretty contentious, but our Savior was contentious. There was the whole righteous anger in driving out the tax collectors from the temple. 

The sad thing is,  I know that I am disliked by many on Paltalk. Somehow, I am supposed to be "okay" with being disliked. Somehow, as a Christian, I am supposed to have a super power that will make it all okay. 

Tonight a friend asked one man why he hates me? His answer was "I don't hate her, I hate her liberal views...like she's okay with gay ministers." First off, I never said that. I even shared with this person my views which line up with the 2016 Discipline of the United Methodist Church: 

¶ 304.3 Qualifications for Ordination

While persons set apart by the Church for ordained ministry are subject to all the frailties of the human condition and the pressures of society, they are required to maintain the highest standards of holy living in the world. The practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching. Therefore self-avowed practicing homosexuals1 are not to be certified as candidates, ordained as ministers, or appointed to serve in The United Methodist Church.2
1. "Self-avowed practicing homosexual" is understood to mean that a person openly acknowledges to a bishop, district superintendent, district committee of ordained ministry, board of ordained ministry, or clergy session that the person is a practicing homosexual. See Judicial Council Decisions 702, 708, 722, 725, 764, 844, 984, 1020
2. See Judicial Council Decisions 984, 985, 1027, 1028

Even though I adhere to the 2016 Discipline; I can't help what the Western Jurisdiction of the UMC does. It is not my concern. I can only call people to holiness. However, the larger picture is that this person doesn't believe in female pastors; and they run me into the ground every time about it. So how does this make me, a Christian feel? Honestly, when I meet people who are holier than thou, even if they are hurting, I realize I don't fit into the norm of what a Christian is thought to be. I may not believe in homosexual ministers, but I don't have a problem with female pastors. Honestly until you have been in my shoes you won't understand. 

No one expects the church to be perfect. But we do expect God’s family to treat us with more kindness and compassion than the world does. Injuries inflicted by fellow Christians can wound the soul like nothing else. They can lead to disillusionment that when left unchecked and unhealed, affect how we view ourselves, how we relate to other Christians, and how we relate to God.

So what does this church hurt feel like? I can only explain it the way I would if I was explaining depression...It's like drowning; except you see people all around who are accepted and loved--because they all believe the same thing. 

Being a Christian that suffers from depression and anxiety, I often worry that I am not good enough even for God. I know that I am not good enough for my fellow Christians.  

When a Christian drowns, even psychologically from the judgement of their fellow Christians, everyone should take notice! Not treat them less than; not tell them they are not good enough. Because when one Christian is lost, the entire body suffers from that loss; and the entire Kingdom of God suffers. God rejoices when one person is saved; oh how he must mourn when one soul is lost forever due to church hurt.

The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. Zephaniah 3:17 (ESV)