Open Letter to DZ

 Hey DZ, 

This blog is an open letter to you. Now you may not read it, that is fine, but I think it's important for you to realize that not every Christian is out to hurt you or convert you to their separate non-essential beliefs. Over the past few months, you have attacked me online, you have slandered me and thought up some pretty crazy things about my Christian faith. That's fine, but tonight I am going to set you straight about my beliefs. Before I get to that though, I want to address you personally. 

The first thing I want to say to you is that I forgive you. I believe you are angry and bitter; and I am pretty sure it's not my so-called liberal beliefs. If you are going through something, I am sorry that you are having to go through the trial. Believe it or not, DZ, it's okay to question God. It's okay to sit in your floor and cry out and ask Him why something happened. I can't promise that you will like the answer, and it will challenge you. Yet in the end, it will help you know more about what God truly wanted for your life. 

I think my core Christian beliefs can be summed up by the Apostle's Creed. 

I believe in God, the Father almighty,
creator of heaven and earth.
I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord,

who was conceived by the Holy Spirit,

born of the Virgin Mary,
 
suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, died, and was buried;

On the third day he rose again;

he ascended into heaven,
he is seated at the right hand of the Father,

and he will come to judge the living and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Spirit,

the holy catholic* Church,

the communion of saints,

the forgiveness of sins,

the resurrection of the body,

and the life everlasting.
Amen.


*catholic here means universal

Those are my core Christian beliefs. Ones that I think every Christian should uphold. These beliefs are essential beliefs.

However, you tell everyone I am a liberal, and that I have liberal beliefs. I think that is because I don't have a problem with women pastors. You also tell people I don't have a problem with homosexual ministers. I have never once said that. In fact, if you really know me, you'd know I have some pretty on point beliefs about homosexuality. Let me explain. The United Methodist Church is broken up in jurisdictions, then various conferences, and finally from there districts and the individual churches are called Charges.

So for example, I attend church in a 1 point charge church, in the Appalachian District of the Western North Carolina Conference in the South East Jurisdiction of the United Methodist Church. A 1 point charge means we don't share our pastor with another church. Another of my pastoral mentor/friends is a pastor of a 2 point charge, meaning she goes between two churches on Sundays to preach. 

Right now, there is a lot of conversation surrounding the United Methodist Church. I openly admit it's crazy around here. The western jurisdiction of the UMC has been in open rebellion since I came to the UMC and they are ordaining homosexual pastors. Believe it or not, I do have a problem with that. Why? Because our book of Discipline states it is not supposed to be that way. 

Here is the official wording of the 2016 Book of Discipline: 

¶ 304.3 Qualifications for Ordination

While persons set apart by the Church for ordained ministry are subject to all the frailties of the human condition and the pressures of society, they are required to maintain the highest standards of holy living in the world. The practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching. Therefore self-avowed practicing homosexuals1 are not to be certified as candidates, ordained as ministers, or appointed to serve in The United Methodist Church.2
1. "Self-avowed practicing homosexual" is understood to mean that a person openly acknowledges to a bishop, district superintendent, district committee of ordained ministry, board of ordained ministry, or clergy session that the person is a practicing homosexual. See Judicial Council Decisions 702, 708, 722, 725, 764, 844, 984, 1020
2. See Judicial Council Decisions 984, 985, 1027, 1028

I think what you and many others heard me talking about in the chat room one night was the wording. I do know of one UMC minister who is a self-avowed non-practicing homosexual pastor. I have no problem with her being a minister. The key to all of this is the word practicing. I can honestly respect this pastor who is truly fighting against her temptations to live for Christ. My ex is a self-avowed homosexual man, who loves Jesus more than he desires to be with a man, but he still has struggles and temptations. Temptations and struggles do not disqualify someone from preaching the gospel; practicing and actively taking part in your sin does. 

DZ, I can't change your mind about female pastors, I don't want to. However, I will tell you that to really understand what Paul was writing about you have to take off the glasses of western understanding, dig deep into the history of Ephesus and look at what was going on at the time. 

I have also posted some links to my call story--and the candidacy program that I was a part of. 

Wesley's Historic Questions--My Modern Answers

Candidacy and Psychological Evaluation

The Journey

I'll still say Yes!

Called by God; Opposed by Men

In the end, my church found me too continuous to continue to support; that's all they told me, but I believe it is because I called out the sin of racism, I called anyone who associated with Klan members racist, I went out on the streets of my hometown and prayed with BLM protestors and prayed for the healing of our nation and even led a couple to know Christ. I know my calling isn't what you think it should be; I can't help that. However, I know that I do what God calls me to do, I do it to the best of my ability and I always will.

When Christians hurt each other...

I haven't written in a while. The reason being that I have been spending a lot of time on a program called Paltalk. Tonight I was banned from a chatroom for being "toxic." And I admit, I got pretty contentious, but our Savior was contentious. There was the whole righteous anger in driving out the tax collectors from the temple. 

The sad thing is,  I know that I am disliked by many on Paltalk. Somehow, I am supposed to be "okay" with being disliked. Somehow, as a Christian, I am supposed to have a super power that will make it all okay. 

Tonight a friend asked one man why he hates me? His answer was "I don't hate her, I hate her liberal views...like she's okay with gay ministers." First off, I never said that. I even shared with this person my views which line up with the 2016 Discipline of the United Methodist Church: 

¶ 304.3 Qualifications for Ordination

While persons set apart by the Church for ordained ministry are subject to all the frailties of the human condition and the pressures of society, they are required to maintain the highest standards of holy living in the world. The practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching. Therefore self-avowed practicing homosexuals1 are not to be certified as candidates, ordained as ministers, or appointed to serve in The United Methodist Church.2
1. "Self-avowed practicing homosexual" is understood to mean that a person openly acknowledges to a bishop, district superintendent, district committee of ordained ministry, board of ordained ministry, or clergy session that the person is a practicing homosexual. See Judicial Council Decisions 702, 708, 722, 725, 764, 844, 984, 1020
2. See Judicial Council Decisions 984, 985, 1027, 1028

Even though I adhere to the 2016 Discipline; I can't help what the Western Jurisdiction of the UMC does. It is not my concern. I can only call people to holiness. However, the larger picture is that this person doesn't believe in female pastors; and they run me into the ground every time about it. So how does this make me, a Christian feel? Honestly, when I meet people who are holier than thou, even if they are hurting, I realize I don't fit into the norm of what a Christian is thought to be. I may not believe in homosexual ministers, but I don't have a problem with female pastors. Honestly until you have been in my shoes you won't understand. 

No one expects the church to be perfect. But we do expect God’s family to treat us with more kindness and compassion than the world does. Injuries inflicted by fellow Christians can wound the soul like nothing else. They can lead to disillusionment that when left unchecked and unhealed, affect how we view ourselves, how we relate to other Christians, and how we relate to God.

So what does this church hurt feel like? I can only explain it the way I would if I was explaining depression...It's like drowning; except you see people all around who are accepted and loved--because they all believe the same thing. 

Being a Christian that suffers from depression and anxiety, I often worry that I am not good enough even for God. I know that I am not good enough for my fellow Christians.  

When a Christian drowns, even psychologically from the judgement of their fellow Christians, everyone should take notice! Not treat them less than; not tell them they are not good enough. Because when one Christian is lost, the entire body suffers from that loss; and the entire Kingdom of God suffers. God rejoices when one person is saved; oh how he must mourn when one soul is lost forever due to church hurt.

The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. Zephaniah 3:17 (ESV)

Mental Health and the Church

This is a post about depression and how the Church should handle depression and depressed people. There may be triggers in this article. As always, If you’re depressed, tell someone. Tell a doctor, friend, family member or counselor. I am begging you please do not suffer alone, especially if you feel suicidal.

World Mental Health Day was on October 10th.  This week, in various discussions with Christians, I have heard "you don't need counseling, a doctor, a therapist, medication, etc." These same Christians follow up with you only need Jesus. 

I am not going to lie, that is one thing that really irritates me because it shows just how much work we need to do to become more acceptant of mental illness being treated. How many Christians do you know that will go to the doctor when they catch the flu? Have a broken bone?The common cold? Pregnancy? Most everyone will go to the doctor for ailments they can see or that they physically experience. So why not mental health? 

Mental Health shouldn't be a taboo topic. According to an article by Geneva College, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), "approximately 1 in 5 adults in the U.S." Biola Univerisity states that this means that nearly 46.6 million Americans over the age of 18 struggle with some form of diagnosable mental illness ranging in severity from mild to severe. On average, there are 48,344 suicide deaths, most of whom have a diagnosable mental illness. To break that down further, 100,000 population, there are 14.8 suicide deaths. 

Many of these individuals will have turned to their church and their faith for spiritual guidance in times of emotional distress. Unfortunately, there is still a stigma attached to mental illness in many Christian churches. The prevailing culture of silence along with misguided attitudes and erroneous expectations often cause suffering believers to feel shamed, blamed and very unsupported. This means that a lot of good, Christ-centered people suffer alone and more often than not in silence. And sadly enough our African American counterparts are more likely to suffer in silence even if they have the funds to seek help. 

In years past, people with mental illness were ostracized, alienated and even abused. Today, most would agree that mental illness is better understood and better treated. However, some of the contempt and cruelty of the past has been replaced with silence and indifference in the present. It is time for the church to step up and make a difference, to move beyond the taboo and reach out to people who suffer from mental illness.

I was reading an article written by a pastor of the Moravian Church and in the article she relates the story of a woman whose husband had knee surgery and the church gathered around, brought food, etc. Yet when this same woman's husband attempted (unsuccessfully) to take his life, the fridge stayed its usual empty self. This goes back to the leadership of the church. This same article in the Moravian church stated that A 2016 study conducted by LifeWay Research and published in ChristianityToday revealed the horror and reality that only seven percent of church pastors discuss mental health with their congregations “once a month” or “several times a month.” Meanwhile, 92 percent of pastors reported talking about mental health in sermons or church functions “once a year, rarely, or never.” (By the way if you are a pastor looking for a great resource on mental health, I recommend the Pastoral Handbook of Mental Illness from Kregel Publishers, see review here.)

Personally, one of the worst things I believe Christians can say to those who are suffering with mental illness is that "You don't really need help." "Jesus can heal you." "You have to believe more." As one who has been diagnosed with two mental illnesses, I can tell you I have heard my share of "You don't have enough faith" comments to last a life time. As CareNet blogger Susan Roberts writes "He is the source of our abundant life. However, mental health struggles are not often the result of sin or failure. Equating someone’s depression with mental instability brought about by God as a punishment is like equating a cancer diagnosis with God striking down King Herod for denying him glory. Mental illness is not a punishment.

So what can the church do? 

The church needs to educate itself on mental illness. Whether through conferences or classes. They need to learn to speak about mental illness compassionately and in informed ways. The Grace Alliance Mental Health Website offers resources for churches and individuals that want to work through learning more about mental health and even start their own grace group to help others through recovery with mental health. NCBI has a wealth of articles for starting Mental Health committees in churches so that they can  educate members and clergy on working with those who are currently stigmatized by mental health. 

I would like to remind you all that mental health in the church is something that I feel very passionate about. You may ready my First Blog about mental health at It is Well...Depression in the church. The following is from my second blog about depression and the church. Depression and the Church Revisited: 

Church leaders should know that depression is a very real issue that they must address.  Some people say that depression is solely a spiritual problem while others believe it to be a physical or mental disorder.  I believe it is both.  As followers of Christ, everything we are, everything we do and everything we experience is wrapped up in and affected by the personal relationship we have or do not have with God through Jesus Christ.  Nothing touches our life that doesn't pass through His hands, with His permission.  Every problem we face, whether it is a physical illness or an unconfessed sin is a "spiritual problem".  If it is a concern to us it is a concern to Him.

Church leaders should know that depression may require medical attention.  Chemical imbalances induced by stress can trigger depression.  It is important to know that a tendency toward depression is many times hereditary, resulting in a disorder that responds well to the right medication.  Depression is not eliminated by medication.  Medicine simply levels the playing field so that the issues and problems that lead to depression can be effectively dealt with.

Church leaders should know that depression may require professional counseling.  I am amazed that so many Christians are so afraid to see a Christian counselor.  Shame and guilt often prevent those who battle depression from getting the help they need.  God gave counselors their gifts and abilities.  He must have known we would need them.  Church leaders should be quick to encourage those struggling with depression to seek out Christian counseling. 

Church leaders should be aware of the shame and stigma felt by those who struggle with depression.  These people are not "crazy" but often feel as if everyone thinks they are.  Many times a pastor or church leader can make it easier for those who battle depression by simply acknowledging depression as a reality that anyone can face.

Church leaders should know that depression is not necessarily sin.  The causes of depression are incalculable. While it is true that depression can be triggered by the consequences of sin it is just as true that depression can simply be the result of a chemical imbalance present from birth. Depression can even be a side affect of medication or induced by health problems as well as physical and mental exhaustion. For example, those who must take medicine to control high blood pressure, thyroid conditions, diabetes and a host of other illnesses are very likely to struggle with depression.  Many of the most creative and powerful leaders battle depression because they constantly teeter on the brink of burnout.

Remember, authenticity and transparency bring healing.  As pastors and leaders we must be willing to practice emotional integrity, freeing those we love and lead to do the same.