Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Hope...Is a thing with pages...

Some years ago, I created a quote that I sent to the Public Library of Charlotte and Mecklenburg County. To be honest, it was a dare. One evening after we had been out, my friends said "Hey Rachel, bet you won't send a fake quote to the library for their columns. My response "Challenge Accepted!" About a year later, someone called me and said "Hey Rachel, you need to get to the Charlotte library and read the columns. I was reading the columns when there it stood, my quote--I looked at it in complete disbelief.

Today, I had to go to Charlotte for another psychological evaluation for ministry--the UMC is very thorough when it comes to ordination. After my test, I decided to take a walk in Uptown, so over to the library I went. And my sign was still up!

But more than that, I had the honor and privilege to speak with some of the people in Charlotte that sit outside the library reading. These people make the conscious decision to hang out at the library because they are homeless and as one gentleman told me today, "the library represents hope." If you tuned into my Facebook live today, you saw me glancing the these two men at the PLCMC-Main Branch. I was scared, but knew these guys wouldn't hurt me. After I turned off the camera, the one guy looked at me and then to the book in his hands and said "I come here daily...just to read, warm up some, and then it's back to looking for a place to sleep at night.

Then he asked me "What makes that quote so much more special than the others?" I looked at him and said "To me, this is special because the author is me." 

"I really like that quote...your quote. I try to think about it when I pick up a book--I wonder what journey I will take." We spoke briefly about the library and what it meant to him and he said "When I became homeless, I lost everything--I lost my books, my happiness and my hope---the library represents hope." I asked him if he'd like to be in the picture with me and he declined.

You see I've worried all this time that I would never make an impact on anyone--and today I got to meet someone who has nothing and he still takes time to read--and to be inspired by a silly college prank. Yes, it was a prank, a incredibly stupid prank, BUT...it, along with the books that are housed in the PLCMC have given someone hope.

I think I can say, as Harry Potter would..."Mischief Managed!"

Monday, January 15, 2018

Vindicating the Vixens

Not since Liz Curtis Higgs wrote “Bad Girls of the Bible” have I given much thought to what it means to be a bad girl of the Bible. I was completely excited to read this book when the title was released from Kregel! I knew I had to read it because 1) I am female and 2) I am in the process of becoming a pastor and 3) I yearned as a woman to know the stories of these women much better than what I learned in Sunday school. From the first time I read “Sin is certainly an equal opportunity enterprise” I was hooked. 

However, I also expected this to be a book that would be females bashing men for their understanding of the women of the Bible. This, however, certainly wasn’t the case. Instead I found a book that was Christ-centered and within the first chapter the reader is invited to participate by reading with discernment and even given six questions that help us to understand the text better: 
What does the text actually say? What do I observe in and about the text? What did this text mean to the original audience?  What was the point? What truths in the text are timelessly relevant? And how does the part fit the whole?

The great thing about this collection is that it starts to set the record straight of so many women who have a bad reputation in the Bible. Glahn cites as examples blaming Eve for the guilt of the human race, or blaming Sarah for the political tensions in the modern Middle East. Popular preachers can make a great sermon by “maligning” Bathsheba as a “vixen” or the Samaritan women as an adulterer, or Mary Magdalene as a prostitute. Other women are marginalized. Glahn notes the omission of Deborah and Huldah from charts of the prophets in some study Bibles, or (I would add) the translation of “servant” in the ESV instead of “deacon” (NRSV) in Romans 16:1 as well as the always controversial status of Junia in Romans 16:7. The essays in this collection hopes to correct popular misconceptions about some women in the Bible by paying careful attention to the cultural and social context as well as the literary form of the biblical text. For me, I love the fact that his book has a generally conservative view of Scripture, and there is nothing controversial about this. 

If you are looking for a book on the women of the Bible who have been marginalized; then this is a great book and I wholeheartedly recommend it.


This book was provided to me for free by the publisher for an unbiased opinion and review.

The Journey

As many of you know, since last August I have been on a journey that I never expected to happen. I never expected that I would remotely become an inquiring candidate to pastoral ministry; I never thought that my dream of actually using what I understood about the Bible would become anything more than a lifestyle. 

Yet this journey has been a roller coaster filled with emotions, anxiety and waiting. While I completely understand why my denomination has set forth the requirements for their future pastors to complete; sometimes I do feel like a dog jumping through flaming hoops. This isn't mean to discourage anyone--I will be honest, I have enjoyed every minute of what I have had to go through to become a pastor. This process is as thorough as possible to make sure we aren't licensing or ordaining people who are not truly called to be ministers--this process definitely  makes sure that your heart is ready for ministry as well as making sure that you are in the right place to be an effective minister for the kingdom of God. 


Some of the emotional toll this process takes on you does seem "expensive" when it comes to faith. Over the past 6 months, I have felt every emotion possible; I have been scared to death, I have sat at home and cried; I have felt complete peace and joy; I've been pushed to my limit and I have taken on rolls that I never thought I would. I've learned to say "no" to certain things and "yes" to the best things that I can imagine. 

I've had moments that were completely discouraging; and earlier this week was one of them; I needed two more recommendation letters to arrive at Duke Divinity School and I was at a loss at what to do when a friend stepped up and her father wrote a letter for me; then I needed one more and I had a feeling it wasn't going to get completed and it was updated to "In Process." And boy do I have to tell you...that was a great feeling. Knowing that hopefully tomorrow, January 15, I will finally have all my paperwork in at DDS. 

Then this morning I woke up and saw an email stating that the District Committee Board of Ordination wants me to do one more psychological evaluation and this is scary. Why? Because, in my past, I was labeled with a false diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder and the evaluation that I am being told to take will actually explore the fact that I probably do have a mental/personality disorder. And yes, I did have a diagnosis, but I was also extremely immature and no longer exhibit the criteria for the personality disorder. 

Then we have the current climate the UMC is finding itself in. Our denomination is starting to splinter over the fact that we are having to spell out everything minut detail in the Book of Discipline. The most current manifestation of this is the fact that we, as Methodists, believe that marriage is between a man and a woman; and we don't believe in ordaining homosexuals; and while this is just the tip of the iceberg it is truly the tip and not the entire story. 

Yet despite all of these things that cause me to feel like the dog in the picture above, I can say that it's totally worth it. I am somewhere that most people who knew me in the past can't believe I am at. I guess some people thought that I'd be in jail or given up on Christ by this point--but you see no matter how discouraging or or hard this process can be; no matter how nerve-wracking or even heart breaking at times; it is well pleasing to God. In this process I have been at peace, not because I have the support of my church, which I do and I am grateful for that--but because this process is in place and it's a journey. I have delved deeper into my relationship with God, and with my fellow humans. I have truly had to live out that which I have preached for so long. 

Yes, the Candidacy process probably doesn't make sense to my family and my parents have had a ton of questions--there should be a website or support group for parents whose adult children discern a calling to ministry--and maybe there is, but if not, as good Methodists, maybe we can form a committee (if you are Methodist you will get this), and while it doesn't make sense, I am so grateful for each step of the journey! 

Monday, January 8, 2018

Cheesy B Movies: Sci-Fi, Western, Horror, Porn?

I am a movie junkie! I love movies and I especially love B Movies. If you don't know what a B movie is, then I can quickly share, it's not a box office hit! A B movie or B film is a low-budget commercial movie, but not an arthouse film. In its original usage, during the Golden Age of Hollywood, the term more precisely identified films intended for distribution as the less-publicized bottom half of a double feature (akin to B-sides for recorded music). Although the U.S. production of movies intended as second features largely ceased by the end of the 1950s, the term B movie continues to be used in its broader sense to this day. Most B movies represent a particular genre—the Western was a Golden Age B movie staple, while low-budget science-fiction and horror films became more popular in the 1950s. And B movies didn't stop in the 1950s; we have them now, most currently for me "Sharknado" in 2013. 

So you can imagine my happiness when I got a Roku for Christmas and there were several channels dedicated to "B movies." I was in heaven, especially since many of them are recently made "B Movies." However, my excitement was short lived...I was sitting down to watch a Sci-fi movie and the first seen is a nude man and woman "in the act." Immediately I went to look up the film and it's actually a "Soft Porn" movie. Well friends you can imagine  my disgust with the ease of access to pornographic material not only on the internet, but streaming into our homes. 

Now, I get it there is a market for that kind of thing--but it's not my market and honestly there should be a way to keep that type of junk off of my Roku--especially when I just want to watch the cheesy 1940-1960s films that are just stupid enough to know "that can't happen," yet commercial enough to make you go "did that just happen?" 

But there is a greater risk here--and that risk is letting things that aren't moral be seen in our homes. It's taking a free license for people to say "your morality doesn't matter." There was a time, when it was shameful to be addicted to porn or to even look at porn. I remember as a young child, going to the mailbox one day and someone had taken various pages from a Playboy/Playgirl magazine and stuffed them in my parents mailbox. My family was mortified and I was ultimately embarrassed because I had to tell my parents what I found in our mailbox...even though I had not put it there. Eventually I would hear it was a young man in our neighborhood who had a "porn addiction" and he had hit several houses that had little girls in their families. 

Psalm 101:3 says I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless. I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not cling to me." 

1 Corinthians 15:33 states "Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals"

And Romans 12:2 states "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."

There are those that say "Sex sales." To that I say "If it sales so well, why are these "soft porn" movies "B-Movies?" And it is in these moments that I realize that maybe there is still some morality in Hollywood--because a lot of these "pornographic" B-Movies aren't ever making it to theaters...nor are they making it to Film Festivals...but they are making it into our homes; and that is the sad reality.

Sunday, January 7, 2018

The Bracelet

Recently, I was asked about the bracelet I wear when I preach and when I am working in the church. It's nothing spectacular, but it is something special. The bracelet is 5 leather strands held together by silver beads. It's very western looking yet smart enough that I can wear it as dressed-up casual. I didn't realize anyone was looking at what I was wearing or how I was dressed. I figured most just wanted to hear what I had to say. A lot of people don't know my history and they don't know my story...and I won't publish it here. Yes, I did make some stupid choices in life, but that is my past and God is a God of second chances and changes of heart. So when I was asked about it, I was caught off guard...somewhat.

I've decided to share the reason why I wear this particular bracelet when I preach...by the way, I also wear a certain perfume too--for many of the same reasons. 

A bracelet from a dear sister in faith...
The bracelet that I wear came from a dear sister in faith. When I started working at a local elementary school I met a woman who would become "the sister I never had" and "the kind of person I always thought my sister would be like had she lived."  This friend was a premiere designs jewelry consultant and I have several pieces that I love from Premiere Designs; but this one is particularly special. One day at work, my "sister" was admiring a necklace and earring set that I was wearing and I took it off and said "Here you go...it's yours." I knew she liked it and I wanted her to have it. It just didn't make sense for me to keep it, I didn't wear it often--I don't wear jewelry often anyway.

The next day I came to work and she had set a box on my desk that contained a necklace and earring set that she liked, but couldn't wear with her coloring--yes, gentlemen, women can wear only certain colors and look amazing in them. So she gave me the set and I loved them! 

One night I was at her house and I saw some earrings that she had that I just had to buy and this bracelet. I had to make a hard choice that night and purchased the earrings; not paying attention to my bag I put it in my purse and left. When I got home, the bracelet was in the bag also. I immediately called my friend and said "Hey, I accidentally picked up the bracelet too. I'll bring the money on Monday to you." With a bit of laughter in her voice she said "No, I put it in your bag, I want to give it to you." I started to question why and she said "Rachel, you are loved. I love you, and God loves you." 

Miss Margaret's Night Blooming Jasmine
A few months later, I would get a phone call that her husband's grandmother had passed away and they needed to get to Nashville to take care of things. She asked if I could come over and watch the dogs for her and of course, I said yes. When they arrived back home, she came to work the next day and said "I know you like this scent...and Margaret would want you to enjoy it. 

Later this same friend would come to my house and see that the bottle wasn't nearly used up, and she questioned whether I liked it or not. I said "I love it, but I know how special Mr. R's grandmother was to him, so I only want to wear this on special occasions."

Later this friend would walk away from our friendship and I didn't understand why and even now I don't understand; but for me, when I preach I wear this because even though my friend will never hear me preach (that I know of); wearing this bracelet or scent reminds me that at one time she was proud of me, and loved me--and most of all, God loves me! 

Saturday, January 6, 2018

The Other Side of Christmas

Here we are, the other side of Christmas. During the Advent and Christmas Seasons, we have had many messengers and models to encourage and direct us on our walk of faith. If you were involved in the Advent study Pastor Cliff and I did, you have heard from the prophets Isaiah and Ezekiel speaking to us in the Hebrew Scriptures about the coming Messiah. We have also heard from angels, Mary, Joseph, and the shepherds. Today we see Mary and Joseph again, for a couple of verses and then meet two aged sages, Simeon and Anna. By their examples, these four Biblical characters proclaim the gospel message and share with us a simple but profound lesson on our faith and our relationship with God.

However before we read, let us pray:
Luke 2:22-35

Approximately 40 days after the birth of Jesus, Joseph and Mary, being faithful Jews, went to the temple to present Jesus to God—as was the custom of the Jews and they dedicated Jesus to the service of God, which would have involved paying a redemption price to the temple. Mary also went because childbirth rendered a woman ritually unclean and she would have to make a sacrifice for “cleansing” following the birth of Jesus (Lev. 12)

Each year we also go through a ritual cleansing…every Dec. 31st we look back over the year and take an inventory of our lives. Then we make some sort of promise to ourselves to do something different and to change our lives. Last year for me, it was I was going to lose weight, and grow my hair out. So on Dec. 31st of 2016, I sat in my house, counted down the New Year while watching the Ball Drop in New York and suddenly it’s like I had a new, clean slate to start over again. As one of my favorite authors, L.M. Montgomery wrote in Anne of Green Gables “Tomorrow is a new day, with no mistakes in it…yet.” However, my long hair didn’t last, and I didn’t get the slender figure that the fad diets I tried promised me. But you see this secular “cleansing” had absolutely nothing to do with God… and it certainly wasn’t ordained by God, as the Day of Atonement was.

And as I studied for this sermon today, I realized that the Sacrificial System of the Temple and New Year’s Countdowns have something in common:

They don’t effect permanent change.

You see, Mary and Joseph weren’t just following the Law of Moses when they came to the temple, and Simeon knew this. Mary and Joseph may not have realized it 100%; but they didn’t just present their first born son at the temple and dedicate Him to God; they presented at the Temple the unblemished, perfect lamb that would bring permanent change into people’s lives, bring in a new kingdom for anyone who wants it. The sacrificial system could not achieve this.

Why not? What was insufficient about the sacrificial system?

First, in the long run, no animal sacrifice was ever sufficient to deal with the problem of sin – you had to keep going back. Jesus’ sacrifice was once for all, he bore the punishment of death on behalf of all people for all time (in human flesh). So that we can be totally forgiven and freed from death.
But there was a second issue … in the Old Testament, when a sin offering was made, it wasn’t only the priest and God who made the exchange. A person would place their hands on the animal to acknowledge their sinfulness (their need to change), and then the life of the animal would be offered for their sins. There was always an element of repentance.

The Law that God set before Moses was clear: if the people obeyed they would be blessed in the land, if they disobeyed they would be cursed … but, as Deuteronomy chapter 30 says, though they had sinned, if they turned to the Lord (if they repented), he would restore them and have compassion on them. It goes further to say that he would gather them from exile and circumcise their hearts…In other words, where there is repentance, God will forgive and bring about a permanent change of the heart … so that there’s no going back year after year after year. As Jeremiah (31) and Ezekiel (36) prophesied, God was going to create a new covenant, in which he would bring about a permanent change of heart.

The problem with the Mosaic covenant wasn’t only that the people continually sinned and needed constant forgiving … God is a forgiving God, which is why he gave the gift of sacrifice … he is ready and willing to forgive and start again … the problem was that they were required to repent … and repentance itself had become a problem.

Repentance had become a problem for Israel, not because they stubbornly wouldn’t do it but because they didn’t even know how to truly repent. They were a people, as Isaiah prophesied, living in darkness, a spiritual desert/wasteland. Their eyes and ears were shut from knowing the truth. They were seeking a physical kingdom; not a heavenly/spiritual kingdom. They had allowed themselves to just go through the motions.

In the Anne of Green Gables series there is a “scene” that plays out where Marilla tells Anne she can’t go to an Ice Cream Social until she tells her where a favorite brooch is. Well if you know Anne, she made up an elaborate story for Marilla and then begs to go to the Social. She only “apologized for losing the brooch” out of obligation to get what she wanted.

Just as in the old covenant, the Jews had started to “repent without change” out of obligation to the Law of Moses. Repentance had become a ritual. Repentance was always the necessary requirement for any sacrifice and it remains the way we access the benefits of Jesus’ perfect sacrifice. This was John the Baptist’s message: Jesus is coming to save you, prepare the way for him by repenting.

As Simeon took Jesus into his arms, he thanked God and said, “My eyes have seen your salvation which you have prepared in the sight of all people, a light that will disclose the truth to a multitude of people and the glory of your people Israel” (v30-32)

The prophecy goes on … he says to Mary:

“He is destined for the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be opposed so that the inner-thoughts of many will be revealed – and a sword will pierce your own soul too.” (v34-35)

Sin isn’t just something we do; it’s something we think and feel. It begins in the heart and a good (I would say) 90% of it, remains hidden and we live in denial about who we’ve judged, who we’ve hated, who we’ve been jealous of and what we have coveted.

It’s like the person who on the surface is fit, the picture of health, and physically beautiful and they go to have a scan, and find their body full of cancer. Only small symptoms have begun to emerge, but how it looks on the outside, is no indicator of what’s inside the body.
Sin is like a cancer. It goes unnoticed, even by ourselves. Until we come into the presence of a holy God, who shines a light and exposes everything that is hidden…Jesus’ light is like a cat-scan over the body, or a sword that pierces the soul.

In Hebrews 4 it says that the word of God is sharper than a two-edged sword, piercing until it divides soul from spirit, joints from marrow; it is able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart. Before him no creature is hidden, but all are naked and laid bare to the eyes of the one to whom we must render an account.

Here’s the good news: Because we are forgiven we can stand before a Holy God, without fear and we can face the truth in our hearts, because we know he has already paid the price for it. And that means we can do something no one can do outside of being hidden in Jesus Christ: we can repent. His light shows us the sin in our lives, we can face it and repent of it.

We don’t need to live in darkness, making New Year’s resolutions, and never understanding why we can’t change, despite our best efforts and intentions.

He has put his Spirit within us, who counsels us and shows us the sin in our heart. The secrets of our heart will be disclosed to us …

Today we celebrate the beginning of a new year, but more importantly, that God made with us a new covenant … a covenant that does lead to permanent change.

Hymn (Please Stand as we sing...)


BENEDICTION:
Go in peace, knowing that you, like Simeon and Anna have seen, and experienced God’s Salvation. Amen

Sunday, December 31, 2017

December 31st--celebrating for a different reason!

December 31st is always a hard day for me. On Dec. 31, 1985 my brother, Jacob was born, however, he was stillborn. Today, was different though, today, I preached a sermon at my church, then I went out to lunch with my friend, Jessica, her son Edwin, and her boyfriend Seth! And I realized that it's okay to be a third wheel. After lunch I went to check on my friend Frances, at the hospital and as soon as I walked in she said "Rachel, pray with me." It was the first time that I have ever felt like a real minister.

Then I did what I always do on Dec. 31st, I went to South River Baptist Church, the church where I grew up and I visited my brother's grave. You see what a lot of people don't realize about me, is that I was taken to the morgue to see my brother and I remember this wisps of red hair he had and I remember thinking "Wow, this is my new brother." I also remember some of the funeral. I remember as a child going to the grave site every year to take him flowers on his birthday. And even though we don't go as a family any longer, visiting Jacob's grave has been a staple in my new year's tradition.

Today, I posted a selfie after I went by to take him some flowers. My heart heavy, but as I have always said, "if he (or any of my siblings had lived) they would be amazing people! And I imagine they would be as proud of me as I would be of them.

Several people have sent condolences about my brother passing--but the truth is--I am not sad. If anything I am envious that my brother didn't have to endure this life and the heartaches it so often brings. When I visit Jacob's grave, I do so and speak to him as if he was there, because in some ways it makes me feel close to him. I mean I know he's not there, but it brings me comfort.

Today, the conversation that I had with Jacob was about how cold it was, but that I bet he was having a tropical vacation with Jesus; it was also about my sermon and my goals...and somewhere deep inside, I know that if Jacob was here, he'd be my number 1 supporter! 



Abstaining from All Appearances of Evil: A Call to True Christian Living

As Christians, we are called to live a life that is set apart from the world. We are to be in the world but not of the world, as Jesus taugh...