Depression in the Church...3rd visit...

Last week the country was shocked to learn that Chelsie Kryst killed herself. The young woman who was a former Miss North Carolina, 2019 Miss USA, was also an attorney and a correspondent for Extra and many had no idea she was in such pain. The question becomes “How many people have mental illness that you know?” 

According to NIMH mental illnesses are common in the United States. Nearly one in five U.S. adults live with a mental illness (52.9 million in 2020). Mental illnesses include many different conditions that vary in degree of severity, ranging from mild to moderate to severe.  

Mental illness is by far and large is not addressed but should be. With the advent of Social media, there are been an increase in mental health issues. Social media has a reinforcing nature. Using it activates the brain’s reward center by releasing dopamine, a “feel-good chemical” linked to pleasurable activities such as sex, food, and social interaction. The platforms are designed to be addictive and are associated with anxiety, depression, and even physical ailments. 69% of adults and 81% of teens in the U.S. use social media. This puts a large amount of the population at an increased risk of feeling anxious, depressed, or ill over their social media use. What is worse is that bullies use social media to socially out people or even shun them. 

How do we address mental health with the advent of social media? Bullying behind a computer monitor? How does the church address mental health? I have written several articles around how the church should address mental health. I think my writings are pretty important because I suffer from depression. It may not be debilitating, I don’t think about suicide, heck, most of the time I am normal. I have my moments though, sometimes I may be listening to a Brandi Carlile song and start crying because something in the song touches me so deeply or reminds me of someone I love and miss. I have a pretty good handle on my depression. 

Dr. Matthew Stanford, CEO of the Hope and Healing Center & Institute in Houston, Texas stated,  

When I speak to pastors, they’re often very surprised to hear that they’re more likely to be engaged than physicians or mental health care providers. And some say, “Well, perhaps those are just people that aren’t as ill.” But research shows that those individuals engaging clergy for assistance are equivalently ill to those seeking out psychiatrists. They are people with very serious mental health care problems. But they don’t walk in and say, “I woke up today and I think I’m bipolar.” They say “I’m having spiritual problems. I’m having a relational problem. I’m having financial issues.” They talk about the same things as anybody else coming to a pastor for help. They just aren’t aware that a mental health problem is at the root of their problems. When you survey pastors, the vast majority, 70 to 80 percent say they don’t feel adequately trained to recognize a mental health condition in a congregant. Ninety percent of pastors provide some type of pastoral counseling, but then less than 10 percent ever make a referral. And less than a quarter of congregations ever develop any kind of structured approach to caring for or serving individuals with mental health problems. A large number of people are coming, but few are being served adequately. 

The first thing we have to do is train our clergy adequately so that they can help. 

Unfortunately when people mention to the church anything about mental illness they are, as Lisa Diaczynsky wrote in the student actives website for Liberty University “ For me, anytime I brought up struggles with depression, anxiety, and even my relationship with food, I was met with three common misconceptions.

1. Have you surrendered your condition to the Lord?
2. God is just testing your faith. You should really pray more about this.
3. Mental illness is just a sign of spiritual immaturity; through prayer and growth, it’ll go away.

Each of these are not only inaccurate but have been detrimental in my journey to find liberation. I remember being prayed over week after week in youth groups and prayer times with no change in my situation. I began to question what I was doing wrong, was I saying the wrong words when I prayed? Was I not praying enough? I eventually tried to ignore my mental health situation. Thinking if I could forget about it, it would be okay. This led to an overflow of emotions and fears and doubts in my mind. The issue was never resolved, it just grew until I knew something had to change.

The church has a shaky relationship with mental health. Dewey Mullis wrote for moravian.org's website, “A friend once shared with me, “When someone came home from having knee surgery, half of the church brought food and sent cards. When my husband came home from the hospital after a suicide attempt, our fridge stayed its usual empty.” 

For me, what would really help is if the pastor or speaker at any given time would speak about mental health/illness. In fact it’s imperative that pastors speak on this. “Fear of speaking on tough or taboo topics in church is profoundly counter to the church’s objective of being a safe and welcoming place for peace-seekers and those in need of care.” According to Mullis. 

Lisa Diaczynsky provided this simple yet effective list that could help others in how to deal or understand mental health: 

1. Be present. Listen. Don’t provide solutions.
2. Be intentional. Pursue your friend even if it feels like they are pulling away.
3. Ask what they need or what would be helpful.
4. Pray for them on your own (or with them if that is something they are asking for).