Depression in the Church...3rd visit...

Last week the country was shocked to learn that Chelsie Kryst killed herself. The young woman who was a former Miss North Carolina, 2019 Miss USA, was also an attorney and a correspondent for Extra and many had no idea she was in such pain. The question becomes “How many people have mental illness that you know?” 

According to NIMH mental illnesses are common in the United States. Nearly one in five U.S. adults live with a mental illness (52.9 million in 2020). Mental illnesses include many different conditions that vary in degree of severity, ranging from mild to moderate to severe.  

Mental illness is by far and large is not addressed but should be. With the advent of Social media, there are been an increase in mental health issues. Social media has a reinforcing nature. Using it activates the brain’s reward center by releasing dopamine, a “feel-good chemical” linked to pleasurable activities such as sex, food, and social interaction. The platforms are designed to be addictive and are associated with anxiety, depression, and even physical ailments. 69% of adults and 81% of teens in the U.S. use social media. This puts a large amount of the population at an increased risk of feeling anxious, depressed, or ill over their social media use. What is worse is that bullies use social media to socially out people or even shun them. 

How do we address mental health with the advent of social media? Bullying behind a computer monitor? How does the church address mental health? I have written several articles around how the church should address mental health. I think my writings are pretty important because I suffer from depression. It may not be debilitating, I don’t think about suicide, heck, most of the time I am normal. I have my moments though, sometimes I may be listening to a Brandi Carlile song and start crying because something in the song touches me so deeply or reminds me of someone I love and miss. I have a pretty good handle on my depression. 

Dr. Matthew Stanford, CEO of the Hope and Healing Center & Institute in Houston, Texas stated,  

When I speak to pastors, they’re often very surprised to hear that they’re more likely to be engaged than physicians or mental health care providers. And some say, “Well, perhaps those are just people that aren’t as ill.” But research shows that those individuals engaging clergy for assistance are equivalently ill to those seeking out psychiatrists. They are people with very serious mental health care problems. But they don’t walk in and say, “I woke up today and I think I’m bipolar.” They say “I’m having spiritual problems. I’m having a relational problem. I’m having financial issues.” They talk about the same things as anybody else coming to a pastor for help. They just aren’t aware that a mental health problem is at the root of their problems. When you survey pastors, the vast majority, 70 to 80 percent say they don’t feel adequately trained to recognize a mental health condition in a congregant. Ninety percent of pastors provide some type of pastoral counseling, but then less than 10 percent ever make a referral. And less than a quarter of congregations ever develop any kind of structured approach to caring for or serving individuals with mental health problems. A large number of people are coming, but few are being served adequately. 

The first thing we have to do is train our clergy adequately so that they can help. 

Unfortunately when people mention to the church anything about mental illness they are, as Lisa Diaczynsky wrote in the student actives website for Liberty University “ For me, anytime I brought up struggles with depression, anxiety, and even my relationship with food, I was met with three common misconceptions.

1. Have you surrendered your condition to the Lord?
2. God is just testing your faith. You should really pray more about this.
3. Mental illness is just a sign of spiritual immaturity; through prayer and growth, it’ll go away.

Each of these are not only inaccurate but have been detrimental in my journey to find liberation. I remember being prayed over week after week in youth groups and prayer times with no change in my situation. I began to question what I was doing wrong, was I saying the wrong words when I prayed? Was I not praying enough? I eventually tried to ignore my mental health situation. Thinking if I could forget about it, it would be okay. This led to an overflow of emotions and fears and doubts in my mind. The issue was never resolved, it just grew until I knew something had to change.

The church has a shaky relationship with mental health. Dewey Mullis wrote for moravian.org's website, “A friend once shared with me, “When someone came home from having knee surgery, half of the church brought food and sent cards. When my husband came home from the hospital after a suicide attempt, our fridge stayed its usual empty.” 

For me, what would really help is if the pastor or speaker at any given time would speak about mental health/illness. In fact it’s imperative that pastors speak on this. “Fear of speaking on tough or taboo topics in church is profoundly counter to the church’s objective of being a safe and welcoming place for peace-seekers and those in need of care.” According to Mullis. 

Lisa Diaczynsky provided this simple yet effective list that could help others in how to deal or understand mental health: 

1. Be present. Listen. Don’t provide solutions.
2. Be intentional. Pursue your friend even if it feels like they are pulling away.
3. Ask what they need or what would be helpful.
4. Pray for them on your own (or with them if that is something they are asking for).

Mental Health and the Church

This is a post about depression and how the Church should handle depression and depressed people. There may be triggers in this article. As always, If you’re depressed, tell someone. Tell a doctor, friend, family member or counselor. I am begging you please do not suffer alone, especially if you feel suicidal.

World Mental Health Day was on October 10th.  This week, in various discussions with Christians, I have heard "you don't need counseling, a doctor, a therapist, medication, etc." These same Christians follow up with you only need Jesus. 

I am not going to lie, that is one thing that really irritates me because it shows just how much work we need to do to become more acceptant of mental illness being treated. How many Christians do you know that will go to the doctor when they catch the flu? Have a broken bone?The common cold? Pregnancy? Most everyone will go to the doctor for ailments they can see or that they physically experience. So why not mental health? 

Mental Health shouldn't be a taboo topic. According to an article by Geneva College, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), "approximately 1 in 5 adults in the U.S." Biola Univerisity states that this means that nearly 46.6 million Americans over the age of 18 struggle with some form of diagnosable mental illness ranging in severity from mild to severe. On average, there are 48,344 suicide deaths, most of whom have a diagnosable mental illness. To break that down further, 100,000 population, there are 14.8 suicide deaths. 

Many of these individuals will have turned to their church and their faith for spiritual guidance in times of emotional distress. Unfortunately, there is still a stigma attached to mental illness in many Christian churches. The prevailing culture of silence along with misguided attitudes and erroneous expectations often cause suffering believers to feel shamed, blamed and very unsupported. This means that a lot of good, Christ-centered people suffer alone and more often than not in silence. And sadly enough our African American counterparts are more likely to suffer in silence even if they have the funds to seek help. 

In years past, people with mental illness were ostracized, alienated and even abused. Today, most would agree that mental illness is better understood and better treated. However, some of the contempt and cruelty of the past has been replaced with silence and indifference in the present. It is time for the church to step up and make a difference, to move beyond the taboo and reach out to people who suffer from mental illness.

I was reading an article written by a pastor of the Moravian Church and in the article she relates the story of a woman whose husband had knee surgery and the church gathered around, brought food, etc. Yet when this same woman's husband attempted (unsuccessfully) to take his life, the fridge stayed its usual empty self. This goes back to the leadership of the church. This same article in the Moravian church stated that A 2016 study conducted by LifeWay Research and published in ChristianityToday revealed the horror and reality that only seven percent of church pastors discuss mental health with their congregations “once a month” or “several times a month.” Meanwhile, 92 percent of pastors reported talking about mental health in sermons or church functions “once a year, rarely, or never.” (By the way if you are a pastor looking for a great resource on mental health, I recommend the Pastoral Handbook of Mental Illness from Kregel Publishers, see review here.)

Personally, one of the worst things I believe Christians can say to those who are suffering with mental illness is that "You don't really need help." "Jesus can heal you." "You have to believe more." As one who has been diagnosed with two mental illnesses, I can tell you I have heard my share of "You don't have enough faith" comments to last a life time. As CareNet blogger Susan Roberts writes "He is the source of our abundant life. However, mental health struggles are not often the result of sin or failure. Equating someone’s depression with mental instability brought about by God as a punishment is like equating a cancer diagnosis with God striking down King Herod for denying him glory. Mental illness is not a punishment.

So what can the church do? 

The church needs to educate itself on mental illness. Whether through conferences or classes. They need to learn to speak about mental illness compassionately and in informed ways. The Grace Alliance Mental Health Website offers resources for churches and individuals that want to work through learning more about mental health and even start their own grace group to help others through recovery with mental health. NCBI has a wealth of articles for starting Mental Health committees in churches so that they can  educate members and clergy on working with those who are currently stigmatized by mental health. 

I would like to remind you all that mental health in the church is something that I feel very passionate about. You may ready my First Blog about mental health at It is Well...Depression in the church. The following is from my second blog about depression and the church. Depression and the Church Revisited: 

Church leaders should know that depression is a very real issue that they must address.  Some people say that depression is solely a spiritual problem while others believe it to be a physical or mental disorder.  I believe it is both.  As followers of Christ, everything we are, everything we do and everything we experience is wrapped up in and affected by the personal relationship we have or do not have with God through Jesus Christ.  Nothing touches our life that doesn't pass through His hands, with His permission.  Every problem we face, whether it is a physical illness or an unconfessed sin is a "spiritual problem".  If it is a concern to us it is a concern to Him.

Church leaders should know that depression may require medical attention.  Chemical imbalances induced by stress can trigger depression.  It is important to know that a tendency toward depression is many times hereditary, resulting in a disorder that responds well to the right medication.  Depression is not eliminated by medication.  Medicine simply levels the playing field so that the issues and problems that lead to depression can be effectively dealt with.

Church leaders should know that depression may require professional counseling.  I am amazed that so many Christians are so afraid to see a Christian counselor.  Shame and guilt often prevent those who battle depression from getting the help they need.  God gave counselors their gifts and abilities.  He must have known we would need them.  Church leaders should be quick to encourage those struggling with depression to seek out Christian counseling. 

Church leaders should be aware of the shame and stigma felt by those who struggle with depression.  These people are not "crazy" but often feel as if everyone thinks they are.  Many times a pastor or church leader can make it easier for those who battle depression by simply acknowledging depression as a reality that anyone can face.

Church leaders should know that depression is not necessarily sin.  The causes of depression are incalculable. While it is true that depression can be triggered by the consequences of sin it is just as true that depression can simply be the result of a chemical imbalance present from birth. Depression can even be a side affect of medication or induced by health problems as well as physical and mental exhaustion. For example, those who must take medicine to control high blood pressure, thyroid conditions, diabetes and a host of other illnesses are very likely to struggle with depression.  Many of the most creative and powerful leaders battle depression because they constantly teeter on the brink of burnout.

Remember, authenticity and transparency bring healing.  As pastors and leaders we must be willing to practice emotional integrity, freeing those we love and lead to do the same.